This post is written by guest contributor KristinCariveau. She’s got five things for us to release this year - and NOT feel bad about - so that we can live our best year yet!

Welcome to a new decade, mama! In the midst of the start of the new year, we’re bombarded with countless tasks we need to begin in order to become our best self.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m all for implementing new habits in order to increase overall happiness, but I totally get it - as a busy mother, I need permission to prioritize and let go!

So here you have it, ladies! 5 things to release this year (no mom guilt allowed!):

Morning Routine

I love mornings. I wake up, light a candle, turn on relaxing music, and cozy up while I read my morning devotions. Reality check: I also have a 6-month-old, 2-year-old, and a firefighter hubby who works 24 hour shifts! The odds of me having my ideal morning every morningare pretty slim. I’ve grown to really embrace the gaps and fully enjoy my “me time” in the mornings when it works out, but let it go when it doesn't. And while we are at it, no, you do not need to workout in the morning to be successful and healthy. Really truly. 

Closet 

Girlfriend. If you take one thing from this blog, let it be this. Could you imagine opening up your closet door and feeling incredible in every single piece of clothing you own?! This could be you! Tap into your inner Elsa and let it go (#momjoke).

The dress you’re saving for when you lose those last 10 pounds? Let it go.

The shirt that fits your belly differently post-baby so that you feel you have to adjust it every five seconds? Let it go.

The old nursing bra covered in milk stains? Definitely let it go.

Set aside time to go through your closet and sort through what to toss, what to donate, and what to keep. I have done this and it has been life changing feeling 110% confident in everything I own!

Expectations for Workouts

Bouncing off of number 1... No, you do not need to work out in the morning to be successful. It might be helpful if just doing it eliminates your chance to put it off until later in the day, but calories don’t know time. 

Before kiddos, I would attend hot yoga classes and spin at least 3 times a week and lift at our local gym on the other days. But long gone are the days of fitness outside the home. The idea of packing up the kiddos, or finding a sitter to go to a class leaves me too tired for my workout!  How ironic. Especially if it means leaving my kids (again) after a long day at work.

I still like to attend yoga a couple times a month, but most days I workout from home with babies crawling all over me and guess what? I still am able to gain strength, lose some of the baby weight, and feel confident in my fitness routine - not to mention wear just my sports bra, allowing my postpartum boobs and belly to jiggle all over and no one stares at me like I’m crazy.

Except my husband, who actually likes it. Win-win! 

Expectations. Period. 

I don’t know about you, but even as a self-proclaimed happy freak, I’ve had quite the short fuse since having babies. I’m typically running on little sleep and my tired mind just can’t take it all. What do I do when mom-life gets overwhelming? I yearn for control. And what’s the one thing you can’t have as a mama because you’re always managing other humans? Control!

I used to feel mad or anxious if my husband didn’t do the dishes, if my toddler wasn’t eating a nutritious meal, or if I didn’t get in luxurious “me time” everyday. Of course I still strive for these things (doesn’t everyone want someone else to do the dishes or is just me?!), but I remain present, and mindful in the moment so those trivial things don’t feel so overwhelming.

Mama, pick a word or phrase it be your mantra; one that you can say in those moments to get yourself out of your head. My gramma used to always say, “This too shall pass!”

The Perfect Mother

I always had this vision in my head of a perfect mother who had it all together, and I thought I wanted to be a full-time stay-at-home so that I could fill that role! I believed that being a full-time stay-at-home mom was the best way I could serve my kids. I’d make all our food from scratch, ensure my husband comes home to a clean house after a long day, and limit our technology time so that we could connect and bond as a family. Haha! Yeah, right.

I still love working from home because it allows me to see my kiddos more often than not, but I also love scheduling my clients so I can get the heck out of the house and get some adult interaction - all while pursuing a passion I really love!

Of course, I have standards as a mom, but I also have learned to let go and listen to my gut - following this has allowed me to not be the “perfect mom” society puts in our head, but to be the best mom I can be for my kiddos and our family. And I’m not alone. Kathleen - the mama behind Smiling Tree Toys - struggles with being the “ideal crunchy mom” she always thought she’d be, and Molly’s discovered inner peace and joy by letting go ofa lot and focusing on being a minimal mom.

Mama, whatever guilt you’re having as a mother right now, let it go.

You are the BEST mom your children could have.

You have the desire to do different things (outside of motherhood) because that is who you were made to be.  And that’s OK!

You’re truly doing yourself and your kids a disservice if you don’t chase those dreams and nurture other aspects of yourself. 

We all simply want to be the best we can be for our families. So instead of adding to our mile long to-do list, let’s see what we can take away guilt-free to create space for the people and passions that fill our cups and our hearts!

--

Kristin is awomen’s healthy lifestyle coach who specializes in pre/postnatal wellness, and is the founder of the holistic lifestyle brand, Intentionally Whole. As a fiery #mompreneur, she is making it her life mission to educate and inspire women to live a positive and healthy lifestyle, all while sprinkling in the realities of motherhood including soft bellies and messy kitchens.